You cannot change anyone!
We can only change ourselves (with God’s help)
If we are to have a civil, peaceful, safe and healthy culture/society in which to live, those who abuse the freedoms offered from the very formation of the United States of America need to change their behavior and their way of life.
Otherwise, their disruptive and often dangerous activities encroach on the freedoms of others. That is why we must have laws prohibiting such behavior.
Since God created us from our DNA through our tendencies and proclivities, he gave us laws that not only protect both our freedom and well-being but also prevent our inflicting harm on others either accidentally or intentionally.
What happens when those laws are ignored not only by individuals but also by our institutions, churches and leaders?
Statistics
Source
Alcohol abuse: more than 140,000 Americans die from the effects of alcohol each year; 10% of Americans over age 12 have alcohol use disorder
Drug Overdose: more than 96,000 people die from drug overdose each year; 70% of those deaths are from Opioids
Prescription drug abuse: 16 million Americans over age 12 abuse prescriptions each year; 2 million of drug abusers are addicted
Illegal or Illicit drug use among youth: more than 2 million 12-17-year-olds report using drugs in the last month; 84% report using marijuana in the last month
Other Statistics
Divorce: almost 50% of all marriages in the USA end in divorce or separation (source)
Single Parent Homes: 23% of US children under age 18 live in single parent homes1
FBI crime statistics 2020: 675,715 violent crimes
What can I do to change such behaviors? What can you do?
Any perceptive observer of human behavior can affirm that neither you nor I can change another person’s behavior other than temporarily.
Using force to do so lasts only so long as the force lasts.
Using verbal persuasion is also only temporary unless the person being persuaded truly changes their behavior themselves. Even then, when whatever urges or perceived needs stimulated their behavior reappears, almost all will revert to their previous behavior.
Only internal strength and will-power will cause a person to permanently change their behavior.
The only person who can truly change me is me!
When looking to solve a seemingly unsolvable problem, the problem must be analyzed and understood – and even more importantly – recognized to be a problem.
Thus neither you nor I will change our behavior unless we truly desire that change and perceive it to be worth the effort of changing.
What will cause us to expend the effort to change?
It is only when our naturally selfish minds2 and hearts perceive a significant reward for us that we will change our minds and hearts.
Steps for changing my behavior
Since there are parts of our minds that we never expose to others entirely – no one knows all of me (not even my wife of 52 years) – I can only share with you a few instances of how and why I have changed my behavior over the years.
It took me most of 32 years to begin to recognize the true majesty and wonder of God’s plan for mankind and His love for all His creation.
Once that recognition began to dawn, my own significance and relative value began to wane (or perhaps to sunset to continue the analogy). I truly began to achieve humility.
That humility raised my evaluation of the rest of humanity; I began to accept people as they were – not what I formerly would have supposed they were thinking or why they behaved in certain fashions.
I began to search for the whole picture of the story God preserved for us in the Bible – from Abraham to the time of Jesus.
That search first showed me the human tragedy of the Israelites’ continual withdrawing from God and searching for alternatives; that search led them into great evil and devastation.
Then that search showed me the horrors of man’s continual striving to control all the other humans around him (or her, in some cases). Wars and rumors of war indeed! Over the centuries, right down to today, literally billions upon billions of people have died and continue to die when caught up in those pogroms initiated by people seeking power over others.
Next that search showed me that those pogroms were not all physical wars between tribes or nations or empires but also permeated all the religions of this earth. Every major religion began with a belief in one immortal God but then devolved into either pantheons of “gods” and/or a rigid hierarchy of human religious “leaders”.
To my dismay, that scenario repeated in the early Christian church beginning less that 100 years after Jesus’ advent, resurrection and ascension and remains more or less intact in Christian churches today – from the Catholic church to various sects that have broken away over the years to reformation and restoration churches.
Most have dispensed with much of the hierarchical structures but still retain some form allowing the clergy, elders and deacons open to strong, charismatic leaders who still seek power over others.
Thus I claim no membership in any human religious organization though I recognize that many of God’s people fill the pews in Christian churches. Most of those attending and working in the organizations are good, God-fearing people and thus due my respect, consideration and love.
This is an example of how my behavior changed as I viewed the history of the Bible, the history since the first century AD and discerned the benefit and blessings of one who continues to seek God and learn His ways as well as solidifying my intent to love my neighbor as myself. It has also brought me into a closer relationship with my Creator.
Helping others to change their behavior
While each person will only change through their own strength of character and their will-power and desire to change, if we can urge them to do so in love and concern, it’s well worth the effort.
The “sermon” relayed by the way a person lives their life is 100 times more powerful than any spoken, written or broadcast message.
You will not help anyone change by condemnation; you will not help anyone change by preaching to them and especially threatening them with eternal punishment “if they don’t change their ways”.
If your friend or neighbor or a perfect stranger asks you questions about religion or your faith in God, give them open and simple answers; if they want further information they will ask.
Always be aware of the opportunities to “do good” for others; support your family, friends and neighbors if they are in true need; go the “extra mile” to help your co-workers get the job done; using proper caution, don’t fear helping a “perfect stranger” when you can do so; using even more caution than should be necessary, financially support good causes or help those who are hungry and without means.
God is continually “calling” every human being; He will speak to them if they are willing and desire to listen; He will send His spirit to strengthen them if that spirit is welcomed; He may work through human channels – family, friends or neighbors; He does not force or coerce anyone to follow Him but, as the scripture says, “knock and the door will be opened; seek and you will find.”
The basics are clear: “Love God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself.” If each of us will follow these greatest of God’s Commandments, we will be surprised, heartened and amazed by the number of the people around us who will – of their own accord, with their own strength and will-power – change their behavior for the better.
Across numerous studies, children raised in single-mother families are at heightened risk for substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and externalizing behaviors and disorders (Amato & Keith, 1991; Aseltine, 1996; Dodge, Petit, & Bates, 1994; Hilton & Devall, 1998; Schleider et al., 2014).Oct 1, 2017
the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. [Romans 8:7 (NIV84)]
